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Picking up where we left yesterday on the topic of food stamps on the local airwaves, I want to look at the constant anecdotes of food stamps and “bling”, aka, “those people”. What this meme suggests is that food stamps are the sole province of the Hispanic community and when you look at our problems, we all know where to point. You can howl all you want about “I don’t care what people think” and chuckle at how clever your innuendos for hinting at Hispanics but the intent and message are quite clear to the dear listening audience and their likeminded ilk.

Here’s the funny thing when you look at the numbers compared to the stories — they don’t quite jibe with each other.

In Montgomery County, we learned yesterday that we had 9344 people and 4321 households who participate in the food stamp program.

According to 2010 census, Montgomery County has 5634 Hispanics and according to other Census figures, the average household size for Hispanics is 3.54 (national). A little math then results in an estimate of 1591 Hispanic households in Montgomery COunty.

So let’s embrace this meme that Hispanics equal food stamps for the sake of simplifying the analysis and let’s assume that every Hispanic household and person in the entire county gets food stamps. (Note to self: Apologize profusely to Hispanic friends and family and any rational reader of this blog )

What this means is that 1591 out of 4321 households (37%) or 5634 of 9344 (60%) food stamp recipients are Hispanic. Remember this is the maximum considering our offensive assumptions here– the real percentage will be much less.

Wait a minute…  How can this be?

Of all the stories I hear of people in line at the grocery store using EBT cards , I never hear of any non-Hispanic person using an EBT card. After all, why the veiled references to bling if we have so many other people using food stamps? Yo, Yo, what up with that?!

According to my numbers, if you were truly the mindful prying shopper on how people pay for their groceries, you should typically see somewhere between 40 and 63% of people who are not wearing bling using an EBT card. Yet I never hear a story of those people using EBT cards. Hmm…

What explains this statistical oddity in EBT cards even with the most offensive assumptions (that 100% of Hispanics use food stamps). Here are possible explanations:

1) The non-Hispanics only shop when no one else is in the store, ever.

2) The non-Hispanics cleverly disguise their EBT cards as AmEx Black Cards eliciting jealousy versus rage

3) No one cares what non-Hispanics buy or how they pay for it

4) Non-Hispanics have every right to use food stamps and therefore it is not subject to discussion or debate or criticism, aka, they are by default  the “hard working, honest people”; the Hispanics, well, let’s just say not so much…

5) Numbers have a well known liberal bias and therefore the probabilities derived above do not reflect the “truth” as disseminated from the local air waves and by proxy at Stewart’s. In other words, “I don’t care what probabilities estimate; I’m entitled to my beliefs and my right to express it!  We need to take our country back from the socialist elitists with their pointy-headed math. I don’t need math from the French to tell me how to interpret American numbers. [long pause] What do you mean we use Arabic numerals?!! “

The snarky answer of course is (5) but we all the know the real answer.

You betcha’!

Next up: eat lobster and filet mignon daily on food stamps. Learn how!!!

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